Teaologian in Manolos

Physics is to Maths what Sex is to Masturbation --Richard Feynman

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Sorry...

Sorry for not putting anything on the blog, though it's not like anyone reads it apart from people who are really boring themselves, like engineers...
So here's something that Little Julie hopes would make up for the lack of posts...

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

poo happens

Hong Kong is a tiny place - no bigger than Greater London, yet bizarre things happen here almost everyday.
Each Friday "HK Magazine" (which tries ever so hard to make itself look cool by hiring a load of foreigners to write articles on 'arts', 'polictics' and 'entertainment' -- Hongers think they look oh-so-chic holding one because it shows others that they can read English...) compiles a list of unusual news from various papers on each day of the week. Here are some of my personal favourites:

9/8: Barrister Roderick Murray has a few drinks for lunch and goes loopy in court. He giggles non-stop, claps his hands, plays with his sunglasses and twirls his wig. The exasperated judge orders a recession; the 'event' is given front-page coverage the next day.

19/8: A would-be kidnapper, presumed dead after being shot in the head and chest by police prior to falling from a five-storey building, removes his own coffin lid minutes before being put in the freezer in a funeral home. The man is taken to the hospital and his condition remains unknown.

2/9: A drunk man drove his friend, who had also been drinking that night home. The friend left his head sticking out of the window and resulted in it being caught by a lamp-post. His head fell off right after the impact and the driving, being too drunk to notice anything, went to sleep failing to realise that his friend was dead. The headless body was spotted by a passerby the next day and reported to the police.

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

white is the new black

And just when Little Julie thought her job was bad enough......

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Bright Young Things

For those of you who do not have the fortune of a secondary education in Glorious Great Britain, you might want to know that three things can happen to a child aged 11 - 18.
1) S/he might choose to be home educated, like Mr. Vivian Hall who in my personal opinion is the next Winston Churchill;
2) There are the standard state comprehensive/grammar schools, where 95% of kids go for free. Children not only get a healthy lunch but it's now also common knowledge that a normal working class pupil has a much higher chance of getting into top universities like Oxford or Cambridge. (Oxbridge for short, NEVER Camford)
3) The other 5% or so left will be sent to Independent schools. These are expensive though parents are very willing to donate the extra ₤18,000 or so every year to make sure their children end up talking like Boris Johnson.

Not all Independent schools are the same. There are normal middle-class ones which accept day pupils only; and there are the “public schools” catered for very fortunate kids who see their parents once every three months, own about 5 credits cards from Coutts & Co. and immediately relate the word “Polo” to the sport rather than the mint.

Public school kids – or Sloane Rangers as they are known, share not only similar sized bank accounts, but also their dress sense (pashies and ralphies) and favourite hang out (KR all the way). Recently an acclaimed ‘Sloaney-hater’ (a ‘not very posh’ boy called Henry Clarke Price who goes to Eton) even created a website dedicated to this cute bunch of spoilt brats.

There is a Q&A page which has generated some pretty interesting emails:

first of all , i want to ask you why this site was 1st invented. It seems to me that most of these people that will be so called "educated " by this site are completed un-educated and do not belong in the likes of our precious sloaney society. To be a sloaney is something you are born into and no matter how hard you try no one can just become one. Sloaneys are like a rare breed of dog , the mongrels stand out rather vivedly from the crowd. oh and i must mention my growing concern that pikies are becoming a rather frequent sight on are darrlin Kr. If they were to take over it , I would be homeless so i do urge my fellow sloanes to carry riffles in the future and if you do (god forbid) spot one of these creatures promptley rid the world of them.
Merci , and avoir,
Love ya henners
Queen of the Virgin Valley

Let’s all be amazed by their ability to form coherent sentences in English and say goodbye in ‘French’.


Monday, August 30, 2004

I saw this on telly...

Here's an interesting way to promote the Bible.

Friday, August 27, 2004

Athens Kisses

The Olympic Games are all about peace, pride and prize. (Oh and gold)
The opening ceremony this year I thought was definitely one of the best ever. There were endless cheers from the audience as they salute the athletes from different countries walking into the centre stage. I have to admit seeing troubled nations like Palestine and Iraq sending their small bunches of sportsmen to compete in this friendly event was a killer tear-jerker -- kind of reassures you what a real j**k Bush is.
The Xin Hua News (chinese Reuters) recently compiled a series of pictures celebrating the Olympic spirit.
People love, and Athens kisses.

Thursday, August 26, 2004

Bergdorf B.....?

Plum Sykes, the new darrrling of New York society, may not be from Park Avenue but like the spoilt heroines in her new hit novel Bergdorf Blonde, she is, according to herself at least, a real-life 'PAP'. (Park Av. Princess)
Bergdorf Blondes are "the girls who careen through New York in search of the perfect fake tan, a ride on a private jet and the ever elusive fiance". Sounds very good to me - a book about rich and tangerine-brown American spinsters.
During a recent interview with Sykes, the Daily Telegraph's Charlotte Edwardes writes:

Hand outstretched and smiling, I greet the new paragon of style. Sykes offers a cold handshake, no smile, and subjects me to a withering top-to-toe inspection. "Yeah, I vaguely recognise you," she says. Then, with an air of impatient superiority, she seats herself, straight-backed, in front of her afternoon tea.
Bergdorf Blondes cannot, she says emphatically, be trans-Atlantically translated. They are too rich, too exclusive for England. So, alas, there is no English equivalent. Bond Street Blondes? Absolutely not. Sykes refuses to entertain the idea of a stroll down London's most exclusive fashion street in search of a comparison. In fact, she will not acquiesce to any of The Sunday Telegraph's requests.
"Plum won't do Harvey Nichols," the Penguin press officer told me. Bond Street? "No way." Claridges? "Nope." Can we have two hours? "Good God, no. Plum is exhausted. An hour, max."

It looks like the Torygraph had finally met its match for snobbishness.

Some newspapers named Sykes' book as the new Sex And The City. "One paper described me as the new Candace Bushnell...Ha! That is so wrong. My book is an Oscar Wilde type souffle. It's the Breakfast At Tiffany's for 2004."
I remember briefly scanning through the book and being marvelled by it's ingenious play on the English language. Apparently, "going to Brazil" means having sex, a "fake bake" is a solarium suntan, and "The Fritz" is the f****** Ritz Hotel in Paris. And there's "breakuprexia" - that's when you can't eat after breaking up with your boyfriend, which is a good thing.

Plum Sykes also compared her book to Great Gatsby "and the other works by Truman Capote." Strange that despite all the free-reading-time an Oxford History degree offers, some people still couldn't recognise the most famous novel written by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

New York New York New York

5th Avenue, Carrie Bradshaw, Bagels, Empire State building, the museums, the parties, the skyline... The Big Apple, along with great capitals like London and Paris, is packed with the most stylish people on the planet. As a homage to this tres chic city, Style.Com's Kate Schelter recently went on a hunt for the creme de la creme of NY's trendy crowd. Let's all marvel at these style icons' unique take on fashion!!!

First, we have the butler from Gosford Park -- the Americans never forgot their roots.

Then it's the naught school teacher. I never knew M&S opened a shoe&hosiery department in the US of A.

We've also got Lolita;

An off-duty Michelin Tyre Robot;

a Greek goddess trying desperately to hide her pregnancy;

1920s supermodel;

David Bowie + Jon Bon Jovi crossed over;

NY cheeky girls;

and cheeky boys;

and even the Italian cleaning lady looks good (or orange) enough to eat.